Journal #5: More than just Surgery.

Hello Everyone!
I am so sorry that I have not been blogging lately. Since I went to the hospital ER / got fired from my job, life has thrown some strange things at me. I went in November 11 and got my gallbladder removed. This was my first time going under and being put to sleep. I was horrified to say the least. I though, and a simple and not super painful procedure that removed my faulty evil little gallbladder.

Other than having the surgery to remove said organ, I have really been thinking and meditating on the thought of my health, and on my life in general. I am not happy whatsoever with how my life is right now. I am not saying that my life sucks or anything like that. I am however saying that to me my life should be more than what it has been. So I have come to come conclusion and crossroads in my life:

• The Removal Of Toxins
  I am not talking of literal toxins, atleast not completely. I am talking about the removal of toxins such as certain people, certain ideas (mentalities.) I am speaking of the way I have viewed my self, and my life until this point. Now on the the ‘not completely’ part. I got to where I was with my gallbladder due to the things I put inside my body. I am now going to be more conscious of this. This does not mean I am going to go down the vegetarian or vegan diet lifestyle road. It does though mean I am going to eat more healthy, I am going to look more into what chemicals are put into the things I once ate. I am going to detox my body.
• The Removal Of Self Blame / Self Hate
  Now for me, this one will be hard, as I do suffer from emotional illnesses that do hender my emotional wellbeing, and how my emotions works. However I am not going to let that stop me. I know how my illnesses work, and I am going to fight them head on, and not allow them to over take me with self blame and self hate. If I belittle myself continuously it’s going to do nothing for my health. It’s going to be times like this where I replace, “You’re an idiot, why would you do that’ with ‘ You messed up this time, but just be mindful of that and continue on improving.’
• Taking back my life, and not becoming discouraged.
  I want to go to college for human services, with a minor or what-have-you in a passion of mine, most likely being something pertaining to film and photography. I want to do something in the human services field, as I feel like I would be able to help people, with my story, and with my personal experience.
• Spirituality and Church
  I truly have found a family in the UU Congregation I am apart of. So much in fact, this coming Sunday I am going to talk to our minister about becoming a member. They have helped me more than they will ever know with finding a place to call a spiritual home. As I am a Buddhist, and cannot go to just any church to find that family space. The emotions I have felt and the family some of the people there have become is something that I know will help me move forward from this point.  I have been a Buddhist almost a year now and I see many things improving with my spiritual wellbeing, I want to continue this, I want to continue my studies of the Buddha’s teachings. I have even shared interest into possibly giving a sermon or two at church, or at least being a worship associate.
• Employment, and Never looking back.
  As I previously posted about I recently lost my job that I got earlier back in April. This was my first job in over two years since I was fired from my last. I am no longer looking back at previous employment, terminations, negative experiences. I am only going to move on from this point. I am going to move on and look for a job that I will be happy or at least happy for the most part at.

Finally I just want to thank my readers on here for sticking with me over the past couple weeks, posting will start back up regularly again, as I am almost healed from surgery.

 

Mindful Meditation; an adaption of Vipassana Meditation

Mindful Meditation, often defined as “the intentional, accepting and non-judgmental focus of one’s attention on the emotions, thoughts and sensations occurring in the present moment”, an adaption of Vipassana Meditation, it’s technique used within the Theravada tradition of Buddhism. Which is one of, I think, the most important forms of meditation. There is a meditation circle at my church, and the form is mindfulness. We sit legs cross,  as common with most meditation, and we focus on our breathing, our attention on the breathing. Another focus could be awareness of when the breath/air enter and leaves the nostrils.

 One thing we are taught in mindfulness meditation is that many things are going to take us from focusing on our breathing but we are to realize that we have stopped focusing on our breathing. You get distracted, you take note of what distracted you, and go back to only concentrating on your breathing.  One way some of us do that is by labeling what has distracted us for example:

You are meditating, and the furnace kicks on. 

The sudden noise is obviously going to draw your attention away, you realize what it is, and it is labelled as ‘sudden noise’, ‘mechanic noise’ etc whatever you would like, or even simple ‘noise’.  Labeling can be done for other things, like noise, body (i.e stomach growls), touch (i.e if a bug or something lands on you.), after some time you learn to not be as distracted by small disturbances.

Mindful Meditation can cause one to be more in the moment, and helps you to remember things, and to perceive things clearly, as you are more…..can you guess…mindful; of what is going on.

Simple Metta Meditation / Brief Intro and instructions.

What is Mettā? It is the meditative action in which  one progressively cultivates benevolence towards various aspects or beings of their life or those around them. AppliedBuddhism defines Mettā as “ Lovingkindness, good will “. . The process of sending mettā can, for each person, be a different process.

Below is a script that I tend to use, and like the wording of. List of what to fill the blank spaces with can be found below the script. Once again I want to say there is various ways to do this meditation and other scripts that you can use, or even word it yourself.
May _______ be free from inner and outer harm and danger.
May  _______ be safe and protected.
May  _______ be free of mental suffering or distress.
May  _______ be happy.
May  _______ be free of physical pain and suffering.
May  _______ be healthy and strong.
May  _______ be able to live in this world happily, peacefully, and with ease.

1. Self – Your personal identity, usually located within the skin.
2. Benefactor – Someone who makes you consistently smile, such as a mentor, a child, a spiritual guide, a pet, or a piece of nature.
3. Friend(s; friends being inclusive to all friends) – A supportive person toward whom you feel trust and gratitude and have mostly positive feelings.
4. Neutral / Strangers – Any living being whom you don’t know and therefore neither like nor dislike.
5. Difficult / Enemies – Someone who has caused you pain, or toward whom you have negative feelings.
6. Groups – Any group of living beings, e.g., everybody listed above, everyone in your home, workplace, or city.

As mentioned, make your mettā bhavana (lovingkindness meditation) something that is comfortable for you.

Buddhism; Religion or Philosophy?

Since becoming a Buddhist the most asked question I get from friends and family is  ” So you pray to The Buddha “, In which my answer is usually along the lines of explaining to them that The Buddha is not deity, but more so a Great Teacher. A puzzled look usually appears to their face, in which their next question is ” So how is it a religion if there is no god, wouldn’t it be philosophy? “; my response is to them is both.

Now with that being said, I have been reading a book, that though the title is as creative as that of “Buddhism for Dummies” , the book “The Everything Buddhism Book” by Arnie Kozak, PhD. It is surprisingly and refreshingly an easy to understand book, that explains various traditions of Buddhism, history, terminology, etc. In this book there is a section called “Religion Or Philosophy” hence the title of this post, and in this section, the author credits Buddhist Scholar Damien Keown for comparing Buddhism to seven dimensions common to religion.  The below is a list of those seven Dimensions.

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1. Practical and Ritual:
   While the ritual elements of Buddhism may seem bare bones compared to the catholic church, for example, Buddhism certainly has rites and rituals that are public and private, many of which are associated with monastic life. Different Buddhist traditions place different emphasis on ritual.
2. Experiential and Emotional:
   The experiential dimension is the most important dimension of Buddhism. The Buddha was the exemplar. he transformed his life not through belief but through experiential practice.  And Buddhist follow a similar path. The truth of Buddhism must be experienced. Karen Armstrong notes that the Buddha “confined his researches to his own human nature and always insisted that his experiences – even the supreme truth of Nibbana (Nirvana) wee entirely natural to humanity.”
3. Narrative and Mythic:
        Buddhism is not without its myths and legends, including those surrounding the life of the Buddha, which can be read as a parable as well as a biographical account of the historical figure known as Siddhartha Gautama. There are many narrative elements in Buddhism, including the Jataka tales.
4. Doctrinal and Philosophical:
   The Buddha chafed at ‘doctrine’ and idle philosophical speculation and sought to teach through direct experience. However, Professor Keown says of doctrine, “if by ‘doctrine’ we understand the systematic formulation of religious teachings in an intellectually coherent form,” then Buddhism qualifies as having doctrine in this sense. For example there are The Four Noble Truths that are the foundation of the Buddha’s teachings.
5. Ethical and Legal:
         Buddhism is widely regarded as one of the world’s most ethical religions, having incorporated ethics into the foundation of the experiential practices. The central ethic is to “do no harm.” Buddhism is predominately a path of peace. For example, the Dalai Lama has consistently advocated peaceful resistance to the Chinese occupation of his country, an occupation that has, by some estimates, claimed a million lives and destroyed 6,000 monasteries.
6. Social and Institutional:
          The sangha is the community of Buddhist practitioners and it is one of humanity’s oldest continuous institutions. Yet the sangha is not an institution in the sense that it has a central authority such as the Vatican. It is a diverse collection of people across nations and cultures that practice the Buddha’s teachings in diverse ways. Buddhism is also a socially engaged religion seeking to make positive changes in society.
7. Material:
            The material dimensions of Buddhism are vast, majestic, and colorful. Buddhist have built breathtaking monasteries, caves, and carvings of the Buddha. King Ashoka left a legacy of iconic structures called stupas across India. Buddhist art is colorful and narrative. Buddhist make pilgrimages to  holy sites, such as the birth and death place of the Buddha, and the places where he became enlightened and gave his first sermon.

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So is Buddhism a religion or a philosophy? It can be both.  It can be a non-theistic religion, or a completely secular code of ethics that can be applied to your current path in life.